Dear Malik:
I created this blog because I wanted a way to communicate with you; a record of my attempt to express to you my thoughts and emotions. My father and I were not very close when I was growing up, a real tragedy. Now that my father has passed away I find myself thinking of him often and wishing I could have come to know him better than I did. While his health was deteriorating we tried to cultivate a new relationship, but it was the poor health that caught up to us and he died August 8th 2004. I wish you could have been at the funeral. I conducted the ceremony and it was beneficial in my mourning process.
It is also a tragedy the circumstances that lead to the divorce between your mother and I, and even more so the estrangement of you and I. I do not see you not because there is not a desire there. I want nothing else than to see you all the time, to get to know who you are and what you are interested in and to be a parent and a father. You mother and I cannot seem to get along well enough to help facilitate reasonable conditions for me to be in your life. I don't want this blog to become a vehicle for me to bad mouth your mother -- that is not its focus. However, I will say that I hope in the future she makes a change of heart and I can see you again.
I have been wanting to create a blog like this for a couple of years now. But it was been so difficult grappling with the feelings I have. It seems so foreign to me that a father cannot see his son! Hopefully, one day we will be good friends. That is my hope.
Love;
Dad
2 comments:
I clicked your profile and found this blog. This story touches my heart. My dad went through what you are going through with your son. His first wife made sure he had no contact with his young son, who was born many years before I came into the picture. When I found out at age 8 that I had a brother I determined to find him. It took me about 40 years of (on and off) looking -- questioning family members, searching phone directories, public records and the like. But I finally found him 6 years ago and it was worth the search. He's a wonderful man and accepted me instantly (if with a great deal of surprise!) My one regret is that our dad did not live to see that day. I pray you and your son are reunited soon. Never give up trying for that reunion.
I pray you and your son are reunited soon.
Thank you. It means a lot.
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